Authenticity guaranteed! Some of the more disappointing Louisiana-inspired products around the world...
Louisiana Purchases
by Paul Oswell
According to The Wall Street Journal last week, ‘New Orleans-style’ chicken wings are having a moment. In China.
They report: “Alan Li, a 30-year-old Beijing resident, has been hooked on New Orleans-style chicken wings for more than a decade. He would treat himself to them weekly at a local KFC outlet, and he imagined New Orleans to be a place where the delectable roasted wings could be found on every corner. Then came a bombshell: Li’s friends who had been to the U.S. informed him the wings weren’t an American dish. “I was schooled by that revelation,” Li said. It turns out, New Orleans-style wings have almost nothing to do with the Big Easy. They are a uniquely Chinese concoction that is hard to find in the U.S.—just like how General Tso’s chicken, sold in virtually every Chinese takeout in America, is hard to find in China.”
Overlooking the ‘Kentucky’ element of this equation, we can commiserate with Mr Li, his romantic gastronomic vision now in tatters. His whole world has come crashing down, exposed as a corporate sham, like the brazen, faux-Danish impostery of Häagen-Dazs.
There are hundreds of generic ‘Louisiana Fried Chicken’ outlets all around the world, all seemingly unrelated to each other. A casual online search lists stores everywhere from small towns in the UK to Dubai (where even Popeye’s have planted their flag). As with many culinary traditions when they’re exported or appropriated, authenticity is promised, but the delivery often falls short. I remember being on the inaugural British Airways flight from London Heathrow to MSY, for instance. The touted 'special Cajun meal', made just for the occasion, turned out to be just very peppery chicken, but bless their little hearts for trying. We got souvenir Union Jack Mardi Gras beads and I didn't even have to take my top off.
It speaks to the vitality of Louisiana culture that it is often imitated, usually much to the hilarity, and sometimes justifiable wrath of locals (as a transplant, I’m sure I’ve been guilty of unwitting cultural malfeasance). Some crimes are more heinous than others, though. Here’s a handful. If you know of any others of note, please do let me know.
Cajun Squirrel crisps/chips
In the UK in 2009, snack giants Walkers (‘Lays’ everywhere else in the world) launched a competition called ‘Do Us A Flavour’, wherein members of Joe and Jolene Public could submit flavor ideas. A shortlist was announced, and the potential new varieties were manufactured and presented in stores for consumers to vote on: Chilli and Chocolate (this was daring in 2009), Crispy Duck, Onion Bhaji, Fish N’ Chips, Builder's Breakfast and…Cajun Squirrel. Englishman Martyn Wright said at the time, “I wanted something unique. The gentle Cajun flavouring will be delicious and although it might sound bizarre, it really works. I’ve seen squirrel on restaurant menus and on cookery shows but had never tried it myself. No squirrels were harmed in the making of these crisps.” Anyway, Builder’s Breakfast won.
Campbell’s Chicken Gumbo
A few liberties are seemingly being taken up in the industrial kitchens of Camden, New Jersey. Did the preparation involve making a roux? Given the light yellow coloring, I think it's safe to assume no. I’m going to hand over to some of the online reviews for this optimistic imitation, which the company describes as, “A traditional gumbo blending rice, chicken meat and farm-grown veggies like celery, okra and peppers in a savory chicken broth that’s loaded with authentic spices.” This doesn’t seem to translate to the customer experience, with descriptions such as “a flavorless disappointment” to “a watery, flavorless product” to the aggressive finality of “We ended up throwing both of the bowls in a dumpster”. Some of the kinder words include, “This soup is not repulsive; more like undefinable” and “It is mostly full of carrots. So make sure you love chunks of carrots.” Somehow roux-less, yet rueful at the same time.
New Orleans Souvenir Zipper-Pulls
This travel accessory - WHICH YOU CAN JUST BUY ONLINE - is apparently “An authentic location souvenir that acknowledges you've actually set foot in the Big Easy, New Orleans, Louisiana. The foot cavity contains genuine New Orleans, LA soil.” Yes, if you’ve ever wanted to impress upon anyone that you were in New Orleans, just pop out one of these bad boys. Irrefutable proof, though it might not stand up in a court of law. Also, “genuine New Orleans soil”? Not just from a patch of grass outside the factory? Sure, sure. That’ll be $35 including delivery.
Sub-par seafood “boils”
You can find examples of this in an alarming variety of places. I remember a few years ago seeing photos from people in places like Brooklyn (where else), posting up meager, dry-looking plates of potatoes, old corn cobs and tiny shrimp that somehow cost about $40. The preparation method seems to be: 1. Boil everything in a pot of plain water. 2. Throw on some (but not too much) Old Bay. 3. Serve. 4. $$$?
New Orleans Square
You may have been to this themed land, based on 19th-century New Orleans, and found at Disneyland Park in Anaheim, California (and also Disneyland Tokyo). Apparently old Walt had a real soft spot for our fair city, and if you want to hear it straight from the mouse’s mouth, it’s here that you can, “Celebrate the colorful culture and spirit of this music-lovin' land”. Sure, the wrought iron and balconies look the part, but it feels like a depressingly sanitized glimpse into our future. Rides include Pirates of the Caribbean (we did have pirates) the Haunted Mansion (we do have ghosts) and the Disneyland Railroad (we do have slow moving trains that get in everyone’s way). I'm also afraid to report that they DO refer to it as "N'awlins" in some of the marketing. Fun fact: It was the first land to be added to Disneyland after the park's opening, at a cost of $18 million. Unfun fact: Its opening ceremony was Walt’s last public appearance before his death.
Meth Crab Boil
OK, this isn't strictly appropriation, but last year, a Pro Boil container filled with a gallon bag of methamphetamine was confiscated by security at MSY. Noted jokesters the TSA described the incident as “a spicy find, but not a well-seasoned plan". If only they could have smuggled the jar up to Brooklyn, it might have jazzed up those dry $40 shrimp boil plates.
Remembering the inaugural BA flight from London Heathrow-MSY
by Paul Oswell
According to The Wall Street Journal last week, ‘New Orleans-style’ chicken wings are having a moment. In China.
They report: “Alan Li, a 30-year-old Beijing resident, has been hooked on New Orleans-style chicken wings for more than a decade. He would treat himself to them weekly at a local KFC outlet, and he imagined New Orleans to be a place where the delectable roasted wings could be found on every corner. Then came a bombshell: Li’s friends who had been to the U.S. informed him the wings weren’t an American dish. “I was schooled by that revelation,” Li said. It turns out, New Orleans-style wings have almost nothing to do with the Big Easy. They are a uniquely Chinese concoction that is hard to find in the U.S.—just like how General Tso’s chicken, sold in virtually every Chinese takeout in America, is hard to find in China.”
Overlooking the ‘Kentucky’ element of this equation, we can commiserate with Mr Li, his romantic gastronomic vision now in tatters. His whole world has come crashing down, exposed as a corporate sham, like the brazen, faux-Danish impostery of Häagen-Dazs.
There are hundreds of generic ‘Louisiana Fried Chicken’ outlets all around the world, all seemingly unrelated to each other. A casual online search lists stores everywhere from small towns in the UK to Dubai (where even Popeye’s have planted their flag). As with many culinary traditions when they’re exported or appropriated, authenticity is promised, but the delivery often falls short. I remember being on the inaugural British Airways flight from London Heathrow to MSY, for instance. The touted 'special Cajun meal', made just for the occasion, turned out to be just very peppery chicken, but bless their little hearts for trying. We got souvenir Union Jack Mardi Gras beads and I didn't even have to take my top off.
It speaks to the vitality of Louisiana culture that it is often imitated, usually much to the hilarity, and sometimes justifiable wrath of locals (as a transplant, I’m sure I’ve been guilty of unwitting cultural malfeasance). Some crimes are more heinous than others, though. Here’s a handful. If you know of any others of note, please do let me know.
Cajun Squirrel crisps/chips
In the UK in 2009, snack giants Walkers (‘Lays’ everywhere else in the world) launched a competition called ‘Do Us A Flavour’, wherein members of Joe and Jolene Public could submit flavor ideas. A shortlist was announced, and the potential new varieties were manufactured and presented in stores for consumers to vote on: Chilli and Chocolate (this was daring in 2009), Crispy Duck, Onion Bhaji, Fish N’ Chips, Builder's Breakfast and…Cajun Squirrel. Englishman Martyn Wright said at the time, “I wanted something unique. The gentle Cajun flavouring will be delicious and although it might sound bizarre, it really works. I’ve seen squirrel on restaurant menus and on cookery shows but had never tried it myself. No squirrels were harmed in the making of these crisps.” Anyway, Builder’s Breakfast won.
Campbell’s Chicken Gumbo
A few liberties are seemingly being taken up in the industrial kitchens of Camden, New Jersey. Did the preparation involve making a roux? Given the light yellow coloring, I think it's safe to assume no. I’m going to hand over to some of the online reviews for this optimistic imitation, which the company describes as, “A traditional gumbo blending rice, chicken meat and farm-grown veggies like celery, okra and peppers in a savory chicken broth that’s loaded with authentic spices.” This doesn’t seem to translate to the customer experience, with descriptions such as “a flavorless disappointment” to “a watery, flavorless product” to the aggressive finality of “We ended up throwing both of the bowls in a dumpster”. Some of the kinder words include, “This soup is not repulsive; more like undefinable” and “It is mostly full of carrots. So make sure you love chunks of carrots.” Somehow roux-less, yet rueful at the same time.
New Orleans Souvenir Zipper-Pulls
This travel accessory - WHICH YOU CAN JUST BUY ONLINE - is apparently “An authentic location souvenir that acknowledges you've actually set foot in the Big Easy, New Orleans, Louisiana. The foot cavity contains genuine New Orleans, LA soil.” Yes, if you’ve ever wanted to impress upon anyone that you were in New Orleans, just pop out one of these bad boys. Irrefutable proof, though it might not stand up in a court of law. Also, “genuine New Orleans soil”? Not just from a patch of grass outside the factory? Sure, sure. That’ll be $35 including delivery.
Sub-par seafood “boils”
You can find examples of this in an alarming variety of places. I remember a few years ago seeing photos from people in places like Brooklyn (where else), posting up meager, dry-looking plates of potatoes, old corn cobs and tiny shrimp that somehow cost about $40. The preparation method seems to be: 1. Boil everything in a pot of plain water. 2. Throw on some (but not too much) Old Bay. 3. Serve. 4. $$$?
New Orleans Square
You may have been to this themed land, based on 19th-century New Orleans, and found at Disneyland Park in Anaheim, California (and also Disneyland Tokyo). Apparently old Walt had a real soft spot for our fair city, and if you want to hear it straight from the mouse’s mouth, it’s here that you can, “Celebrate the colorful culture and spirit of this music-lovin' land”. Sure, the wrought iron and balconies look the part, but it feels like a depressingly sanitized glimpse into our future. Rides include Pirates of the Caribbean (we did have pirates) the Haunted Mansion (we do have ghosts) and the Disneyland Railroad (we do have slow moving trains that get in everyone’s way). I'm also afraid to report that they DO refer to it as "N'awlins" in some of the marketing. Fun fact: It was the first land to be added to Disneyland after the park's opening, at a cost of $18 million. Unfun fact: Its opening ceremony was Walt’s last public appearance before his death.
Meth Crab Boil
OK, this isn't strictly appropriation, but last year, a Pro Boil container filled with a gallon bag of methamphetamine was confiscated by security at MSY. Noted jokesters the TSA described the incident as “a spicy find, but not a well-seasoned plan". If only they could have smuggled the jar up to Brooklyn, it might have jazzed up those dry $40 shrimp boil plates.
Remembering the inaugural BA flight from London Heathrow-MSY